A whole new side of love

05 July 2009

its really for you,

0 comments Posted by sunshine at 22:37

im sorry, im deeply sorry, i had to do what i did, i know it hurts. But you dont know how its hurting me as well. i just dont want to feel what i felt before, so please, for now, lets just live our own lives. you go your way and ill go mine,

and again, im sorry,

i love you.

thank you (:

1 comments Posted by sunshine at 05:51

when i said, i wont let myself fall for anyone anymore, i mean it. since you made it clear we can only be friends, im giving you what you want. and thanks to this particular person, he has agree to help me get over you, (:

if you still want me, fight for me. if you dont, just let it be. from here ill know how you really feel (:

goodluck.

and i still love you,

04 July 2009

i know i can do this.

0 comments Posted by sunshine at 04:29

guess what? ive decided, i wont let myself fall for anyone anymore, not anymore. ive had enough, all i gotta now is get rid of this feeling and im done. i can continue living life without a guy, that special guy. ill just have to wait.

i know the time will come, and i will not be going to look for it,

i will just have to wait (:

i am strong,

03 July 2009

its not suppose to hurt this way,

0 comments Posted by sunshine at 22:19

i dont think i can continue avoiding him, but i know i gotta be strong. this is what he wanted, i cant think about myself all the time. i have to think about others feelings too, him. i really dont know what to do today, i just hope that i can get through today alone, first. Then ill just have to repeat what i do today everyday after this if its working, i need to play touch, i miss touch, it helps me get my mind off things, but its impossible, cause it will surely remind me of him. shitty much huh.

i think i need to just get away from everything, when i said everything, i mean, everything that doesnt concern school. like, Facebook, (ive deactivated that one), certain people, i think rugby as well, (it will surely help me concentrate more), and especially him.

i dont know how i will start today, i woke up at 7 plus this morning and i forced myself to go back to sleep, and something woke me up around 8 plus and i forced myself to sleep, again. this happens a few times. i did this just to make the time flew faster i dont wanna go online on messenger cause i know he'll be there, i dont wanna appear offline cause i know if i see him online, ill text him. i just cant. i have to cut every strings attached betwwen us. i just have to, in order for me to get rid of this feelings and in order to stop hurting myself. uurrrgghhh,

i need Nunu, she's the only person who can understands me cause we're basically in the same shoes.

i think this is what ill do today, to help me ;

take my shower, (as long as i could)
go to the kitchen and eat something (which i plan to eat only sikit since ill be missing training)
look for old dvds, lots and lots of them, so ill have a dvd marathon, alone, by myself.

by this time, it might be getting late, like around 5 or soo,
then ill continue watching dvds,
get some dinner
start doing my assignments

watch more dvds until i fall asleep.

yes, i am working my ass off for this, its for his own good, and mine too , so it wont hurt me that much, (':

i think this might help, cause at least i got a plan (:

and oh, i will blog for more updates, if i manage to stick with my plans or not.

to try as hard as i can,

Syazana.

TAG!

0 comments Posted by sunshine at 09:23

1. how are you? - im ok, (: 2. who was the last person you hugged? - Bahzi (Y) 3. look to your left, what do you see? - the wall and window. 4. where do you like to be the most? - there :D 5. whats your fave film? - If only, Serendipity, any romantic comedies i guess? 6. what does the last person you commented on facebook mean to you? - she means so much to me, she's a sister and the greatest girlfriend ever!. 7. what did you last laugh about? - it was about tv brunei, with Qushairi. HAHA. 8. where was your default took? - default? im lost? 9. whats the first thing you look for in a girl/guy? - if he cares to care. 10. if your still in school, whats your fave lesson? - PSYCHOLOGY! wait wait, i think its GP! 11. what do you work as / want to work as? - whatever that i can do and make 5 digits salary, which starts with number 2 in front, or more! NYAHAHAHA! 12. do you play video games? if so, which is your fave game? - not really :/ 13. who never fails to make you laugh? - My circle, (: 14. what are you listening to right now? - not listening to anything, 15. who did you last have a sleepover with? - errr. i cant recall. 16. i bet you miss someone, who?! - hahaha, all of them! 17. are you happy with your life right now? - yeaap, i want better pulang, with more money and more love!! 18. why did you last get upset? - sometimes, some things are better left unsaid. 19. who was the last person you texted? - Mama. 20. who do you live with? - familia. 21. do you like living with them? - uhuhhh yeap yeap! (: 22. whats your mood right now on facebook? - biasa jeee. 24. did you realise that there was no 23? - nopee. haha, nice onee. 25. what does your profile song mean to you? - profile song? i have no profile song. 26. who did you last shout at and why? - iina, pasal nyaya me, 27. are you normally a happy person? - yeap! 28. what was the last thing you went to see in the movies and with who? - angel and demons, raqib and dua 29. whats your fave food? - for now, BUTTER SUGAR BREAD TOAST!. 30. are you in love? - yes, deeply in love. 31. do you remember how you was 3 years ago? - yes, i do. 32. if so, does it make you cringe? - haha, no? 33. if you could be with someone right now, who would it be? - him, haahhh~ well if its meant to be then its mean to be. 34. do you have any blogs? - i doooo. 35. whats your fave thing in your room? - my pc, i dont think i can survive without it. 36. is this quiz boring you? - biasa jeee. 37. if you had one wish, what would you wish for? - i dont want to ever know him, its hurting me. 38. when was the last time you lied? - im not sureee. 39. are your lips chapped? - nope. 40. any last words? - the him im referring to, is the same him from beginning to end.