A whole new side of love

i dont think i can continue avoiding him, but i know i gotta be strong. this is what he wanted, i cant think about myself all the time. i have to think about others feelings too, him. i really dont know what to do today, i just hope that i can get through today alone, first. Then ill just have to repeat what i do today everyday after this if its working, i need to play touch, i miss touch, it helps me get my mind off things, but its impossible, cause it will surely remind me of him. shitty much huh.

i think i need to just get away from everything, when i said everything, i mean, everything that doesnt concern school. like, Facebook, (ive deactivated that one), certain people, i think rugby as well, (it will surely help me concentrate more), and especially him.

i dont know how i will start today, i woke up at 7 plus this morning and i forced myself to go back to sleep, and something woke me up around 8 plus and i forced myself to sleep, again. this happens a few times. i did this just to make the time flew faster i dont wanna go online on messenger cause i know he'll be there, i dont wanna appear offline cause i know if i see him online, ill text him. i just cant. i have to cut every strings attached betwwen us. i just have to, in order for me to get rid of this feelings and in order to stop hurting myself. uurrrgghhh,

i need Nunu, she's the only person who can understands me cause we're basically in the same shoes.

i think this is what ill do today, to help me ;

• take my shower, (as long as i could)
• go to the kitchen and eat something (which i plan to eat only sikit since ill be missing training)
• look for old dvds, lots and lots of them, so ill have a dvd marathon, alone, by myself.
  
  by this time, it might be getting late, like around 5 or soo,
  
  
• then ill continue watching dvds,
• get some dinner
• start doing my assignments

watch more dvds until i fall asleep.

yes, i am working my ass off for this, its for his own good, and mine too , so it wont hurt me that much, (':

i think this might help, cause at least i got a plan (:

and oh, i will blog for more updates, if i manage to stick with my plans or not.