A whole new side of love

2009-09-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

Another lie, i thought you understood when i said i cant take another lie, we actually promised to each other that we would never keep things from each other. we promised that we would tell everything to each other. not those small things tho. but this aint small.

we were destroyed by lies. we met because of we were lied upon. we promised we wont hurt each other by lying. but you lied. whats the point of promising when you know you would break it. what's the point of saying something that you know wont happen. Maybe to you its a small thing cause you have her. but to me, how can it be easy for me when i only have you? but you decide to turn to someone else?

when were you planning to tell me about this? never? until she leaves? what am i? just a rebound? you're never that term to me. you're never my rebound. you were there for me, i was there for you, and to me you taught me a whole new side of love. i shouldnt be this mad, really. i shouldnt, cause i know im not anyone that should be saying this.

im just a friend, a bestfriend, who's deeply in love with you and hopes you would feel the same way to in the future cause you said some things that made me feel this way. Long term reward, remember? i guess not. i guess it doesnt even exist. you made it up, right? just to make me feel better and stops complaining? and make you upset and cause i cry too much?

it would be better if you just told me the truth. i would accept it calmly. but i had to find it out from someone else. why? why did you hurt me like this?

truly hurt and depressed.

Hiatus,

2009-09-08T17:25:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAFIZ!

2009-07-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

we had our training at the stadium this afternoon, until around 9.30 pm, thats how we enjoy playing rugby, we lost track of time. im too tired to even describe what happened, ill just let the pictures to the talking, yes? (:

My life would suck without rugby,

only real rugby players know what im talking about,

haha. yeap, i know for sho!

2009-07-13T06:47:00.000-07:00

ukehhh, last i updated was July 1oth, and its July 13th tonight, im actually in the middle of doing research for my assignment, but I NEED A BREAK. so here i am blogging, because i have to update you guys of what i did last weekend, it was supposed to be a great weekend since i spent it with them Knights, my teammates, but theeeeeeeeeeennnnnn, something spoiled it.

I dont know why i hate her so much, its her attitude really, she's texting with my girl's boyfriend, how the hell am i not pissed of that? and ya ada boyfriend lagi tuu! shissshh. and because of another thing jua, i dont wanna hate sebenarnya, really i dont. maybe she's actually nice once i got to know her? but thats the problem, i dont wanna get to know her. cause everytime i see her face, i just feel like my hand is lighter than ever, i feel like slapping her!

relax, he! soo... i spent my saturday night at coach's and TK with them Knights jua, we went home quite late, where i spent the whole journey home sleeping, i think i snored? haha. then Sunday, us, knights, girls and guys, played touch at indoor stadium, on that big tile thingy next to disney on ice stairs? i dont know what to call it, so i call it this.

i think im just blabbing her. eh wait, i have to mention this! me, Nad and Asyraff, palyed the guitar and sing songs, well i know only one song on the guitar so that was the only song i played and singg :/ tapinya Asyraff and Nad did ajar lagu Mcfly - its all about you. AWETHOME! (Y)

hmmm, apa lagii ahhh,, atuuu! pictures will be uploaded sooooooooonnn. sooo manyyy pictures! im going back to assignments now,

chalo chalo!

because you are my heart,

and because you are my soul,

that i love you so much,

ill give up everything,

to see you happy, thats why,

im giving up, us.

cause i know,

i wont be able to give you,

happiness.

Grey's anatomy

2009-07-10T02:26:00.001-07:00

and so, i thought i would keep myself busy to get over the whole thing, and so i started reorganizing my file, keeping my room clean as often as possible, finish my assignments on time, revising, watch series, lots of them. And now im back on Grey's anatomy season 1 and 2, im on season 2 now, disc 2. gosh, lying on this bed all day long is making me feel like i dont have a back anymore, HAHA. but i think its juat another symptom of my once a month friend would come visit me soon.

i miss him (: i dont wanna say this, but yes i do miss him. i have another guy to help me get through this but it doesnt seem enough. cause he's always busy working. there's training today, actually as im typing this, but i cant come cause i have no ride, no one can send me to training. which brings me to, "I CANT WAIT TO HAVE MY LICENSE" gosh, even if i do get my license, i wouldnt have any car to drive, i was hoping for mum to agree on buying a second hand cheap car. :D pleease. thats like, on my birthday wish list.

last but not least, i just feel like updating this blog, just cause i want to, it will make my day, (NOT), haha, im gonna go back to Grey's now. And i miss them girls. and him too.

hugs and kisses,

Benjamin <3

2009-07-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO HUG YOU REAL BAD.

i know i can never have you,

but at least i still wish.

Back to square one.

2009-07-06T06:42:00.000-07:00

My aim from this second is just to forget about my feelings, any of my feelings that i have for this particular boy, haha. We are good now, we had things cleared last night, emphasizing the word bestfriends. Yes, here we are, we both stand, as bestfriends. We had our moments and its over now. We're starting something new, something fresh. As BESTFRIENDS! yes, again, im emphasizing. LOL. i hope ill be ok with it, well i am ok with it now, hehehehhe. i know i can do this.

all i know now is im excited for tomorrow, i cant wait to see them circles, ohhh i miss them so much, i feel like hugging every one of them. so tight! biar sampai lemas. haha, wth am i talking about. snuggles wah i mean, a friendly one, not a corny one. hehe. and i just wish to concentrate more on my studies and rugby as well. and please, i hope this feeling wont get anymore serious, ive had enough tearing up and shits. i wanna smile! I wanna laugh out loud! hehehe.

bah, people, you all gotta help me through this, yes? (:

i gotta get back to studying now, yes, im studying, rusty sudah my brain ani,

a perfectly good heart,

its really for you,

2009-07-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

im sorry, im deeply sorry, i had to do what i did, i know it hurts. But you dont know how its hurting me as well. i just dont want to feel what i felt before, so please, for now, lets just live our own lives. you go your way and ill go mine,

and again, im sorry,

i love you.

thank you (:

2009-07-05T05:51:00.000-07:00

when i said, i wont let myself fall for anyone anymore, i mean it. since you made it clear we can only be friends, im giving you what you want. and thanks to this particular person, he has agree to help me get over you, (:

if you still want me, fight for me. if you dont, just let it be. from here ill know how you really feel (:

goodluck.

and i still love you,

i know i can do this.

2009-07-04T04:29:00.000-07:00

guess what? ive decided, i wont let myself fall for anyone anymore, not anymore. ive had enough, all i gotta now is get rid of this feeling and im done. i can continue living life without a guy, that special guy. ill just have to wait.

i know the time will come, and i will not be going to look for it,

i will just have to wait (:

i am strong,

its not suppose to hurt this way,

2009-07-03T22:19:00.000-07:00

i dont think i can continue avoiding him, but i know i gotta be strong. this is what he wanted, i cant think about myself all the time. i have to think about others feelings too, him. i really dont know what to do today, i just hope that i can get through today alone, first. Then ill just have to repeat what i do today everyday after this if its working, i need to play touch, i miss touch, it helps me get my mind off things, but its impossible, cause it will surely remind me of him. shitty much huh.

i think i need to just get away from everything, when i said everything, i mean, everything that doesnt concern school. like, Facebook, (ive deactivated that one), certain people, i think rugby as well, (it will surely help me concentrate more), and especially him.

i dont know how i will start today, i woke up at 7 plus this morning and i forced myself to go back to sleep, and something woke me up around 8 plus and i forced myself to sleep, again. this happens a few times. i did this just to make the time flew faster i dont wanna go online on messenger cause i know he'll be there, i dont wanna appear offline cause i know if i see him online, ill text him. i just cant. i have to cut every strings attached betwwen us. i just have to, in order for me to get rid of this feelings and in order to stop hurting myself. uurrrgghhh,

i need Nunu, she's the only person who can understands me cause we're basically in the same shoes.

i think this is what ill do today, to help me ;

take my shower, (as long as i could)
go to the kitchen and eat something (which i plan to eat only sikit since ill be missing training)
look for old dvds, lots and lots of them, so ill have a dvd marathon, alone, by myself.

by this time, it might be getting late, like around 5 or soo,
then ill continue watching dvds,
get some dinner
start doing my assignments

watch more dvds until i fall asleep.

yes, i am working my ass off for this, its for his own good, and mine too , so it wont hurt me that much, (':

i think this might help, cause at least i got a plan (:

and oh, i will blog for more updates, if i manage to stick with my plans or not.

to try as hard as i can,

Syazana.

TAG!

2009-07-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

1. how are you? - im ok, (: 2. who was the last person you hugged? - Bahzi (Y) 3. look to your left, what do you see? - the wall and window. 4. where do you like to be the most? - there :D 5. whats your fave film? - If only, Serendipity, any romantic comedies i guess? 6. what does the last person you commented on facebook mean to you? - she means so much to me, she's a sister and the greatest girlfriend ever!. 7. what did you last laugh about? - it was about tv brunei, with Qushairi. HAHA. 8. where was your default took? - default? im lost? 9. whats the first thing you look for in a girl/guy? - if he cares to care. 10. if your still in school, whats your fave lesson? - PSYCHOLOGY! wait wait, i think its GP! 11. what do you work as / want to work as? - whatever that i can do and make 5 digits salary, which starts with number 2 in front, or more! NYAHAHAHA! 12. do you play video games? if so, which is your fave game? - not really :/ 13. who never fails to make you laugh? - My circle, (: 14. what are you listening to right now? - not listening to anything, 15. who did you last have a sleepover with? - errr. i cant recall. 16. i bet you miss someone, who?! - hahaha, all of them! 17. are you happy with your life right now? - yeaap, i want better pulang, with more money and more love!! 18. why did you last get upset? - sometimes, some things are better left unsaid. 19. who was the last person you texted? - Mama. 20. who do you live with? - familia. 21. do you like living with them? - uhuhhh yeap yeap! (: 22. whats your mood right now on facebook? - biasa jeee. 24. did you realise that there was no 23? - nopee. haha, nice onee. 25. what does your profile song mean to you? - profile song? i have no profile song. 26. who did you last shout at and why? - iina, pasal nyaya me, 27. are you normally a happy person? - yeap! 28. what was the last thing you went to see in the movies and with who? - angel and demons, raqib and dua 29. whats your fave food? - for now, BUTTER SUGAR BREAD TOAST!. 30. are you in love? - yes, deeply in love. 31. do you remember how you was 3 years ago? - yes, i do. 32. if so, does it make you cringe? - haha, no? 33. if you could be with someone right now, who would it be? - him, haahhh~ well if its meant to be then its mean to be. 34. do you have any blogs? - i doooo. 35. whats your fave thing in your room? - my pc, i dont think i can survive without it. 36. is this quiz boring you? - biasa jeee. 37. if you had one wish, what would you wish for? - i dont want to ever know him, its hurting me. 38. when was the last time you lied? - im not sureee. 39. are your lips chapped? - nope. 40. any last words? - the him im referring to, is the same him from beginning to end.

<3

2009-07-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

i love our morning texts,

i love our night greets,

i love and love it when you say YAYYERR!

no one says the word RUGGED like you.

i love it when i miss you,

i just love you, (:

this post has got nothing to do with anyone,

i just feel like posting it,

make me feel so cute. haha, useless.

BASS <3

CHUCK BASS!

2009-07-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

i adoreeeeeee,

he's even hotter when he's covered in blood.

i want you, mamamia!

haha, i think i have this obession towards him!

ARRR! LOL.

Hush Swine Flu go away,

2009-07-02T06:07:00.001-07:00

and so the cases of swine flu or also known as H1N1 virus are getting more serious each day, our school holiday was extended for another week, but as the virus gets more serious, are the government going to extend the holiday again? gosh, i heard from Zura that the cases has rise from 66 to 93, with one death, a 12 year old kid. I didnt know that i would be this scared, i need to get a mask, school is starting soon and i need a mask! a mask people!

i gotta chill :D

*sprays sanitizer everywhere and off i run.

continuation of Chapter 1.

2009-07-02T04:51:00.000-07:00

where exactly did i meet him? it was just like any other Sundays, as usual, right after campus, i drive alone to this cafe, i adore the truffles here, so i will buy a hundred grams for BND 3.80 and get myself a can of Ice Apple tea to go with. I have my favourite spot here, next to the window, a single seating table. I spend usually 30 minutes or more sitting here with my novel on my left hand and eating the truffles simultaneously with my right hand. He passed by everyday, except for weekends, where i, myself dont spend time there. but he's just like any other strangers, he sometimes smiles, and sometimes just busy with his phone or something else to even notice me. This happened for 4 months or so

The day i got into a big fight with Adrian, a jerk that i had to call my ex-boyfriend, it was not a school day, and it was Saturday, i didnt usually go to my favourite cafe on weekends, but i just had to, since i needed to get my mind off him. And so, as usual, i ordered a hundred grams of truffle and glass of Ice Apple tea, i didnt have my novel that day, just my laptop. I guessed i would stay longer than usual, using the Wi-fi provided. As i was browsing through my facebook, he passed by, this stranger, but this time, he smiled brightly, walk back and slowly pushed the cafe door, he turned to me and approached me. Pulling out the chair and sat down.

"hi, im Benjamin" he smiled as he take out his hand out of his pocket and shaked mine.

And ill continue again next time (:

i have the mood to take pictures now, of me.

and i think it has something to do with swine :D

Syazana,

A story.

2009-07-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

i think im gonna start writing a story, i will go like this, i will keep on writing this book, until i decide of what the ending would be, and this story will have or had nothing to do with anything or anyone i know, i just feel like writing, and soo i will start today (:

Epilogue

I cant help feeling what im feeling tho i know he made it clear that we are just friends. who am i to blame anyway, i spend most of the time with him, not exactly beside him, but basically every free time i have, i have him to talk to, i have him to chat with, on MSN. And if we're not chatting, we'll be talking on the phone until late night. Oh yes, ill never get tired of him. i miss him every second when he's not around. I never thought that he would be the one who i would fall for, before, he was just another stranger on my friends list on this social webpage. and now, all i think about him is to just be with him as long as i can.

chapter 1.

...babe, turn around," he said as i was sleeping facing the other side, instead of facing him him. Then i turned, that face, i adore, i love. Looking at the way he smile, its a wonderful feeling that i cant describe. To just cuddle in his arm, feels so warm and beyond imagination. He kissed my forehead, my cheeks. We stayed like that the whole day until we both fell asleep.

Something woke me up, i think because i was sweating since i was still in his arm, and so i looked at him sleeping, calm. i kissed his cheeks, i smiled. i want that moment to just stay as it is. i never wanted the moment to fade. its too precious, he is too precious.

ill write some more when i get more inspirations, hehe. i dont think this story would go well if i keep on writing lovey dovey stuffs :/ i gotta get a grip of myself!! THINK SYAZ THINK! haha. i think i should go sleep now,

hey you, i miss. (:

NEW FAVOURITE!

2009-07-01T07:28:00.000-07:00

i have a new favourite snacks sudah, thanks to Baji! (Y) (Y) two thumbs up for you Baj! haha, i am in loveeee with butter sugar bread toast now. i dont exactly know what its called, but its a bread, toasted, then spread with butter and with sugar sprinkled on top! thus, i came up with butter sugar bread toast! haha. i atee 3 tadii, and just now i made 2 and ate both. the taste inda sama macam yang Baji buatkannn, I WANTTT!! (: haha.

BUTTERR SUGARR BRREAD TOASST! (y)

2009-06-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

This little tiny baby

Was sent from God above

To fill our hearts with happiness

And touch our lives with love

He must have known

We'd give our all

And always do our best

To give our precious baby love

And be grateful and so blessed

i just heard, from a friend, that his baby cousin passed away, he's about 5 years old. i am, a child lover, a baby adorer, it devastates me when i heard about this, knowing that a child that young died. how can the parents live after that? knowing about this alone, made it hard for me to sleep, it keeps me thinking on how would i be handling it, if it were to happen to me one day, here i am, thinking that i have a bad problem and my life suck cause of some lovey dovey feelings, where there are more worst problems like this.

oh gossh, how would i live if i have to let my child go, like that. how can a parent live without the baby mumbling, that gurgly laughs, and giggles, and to cuddle and smell on top of his head which i experienced smell like nothing i can compare, smell of a baby, is the sweetest yet calming scent that can never be match up to anything at all on this earth, nor other planets. i know im in love with babies the first time i saw one, and i get attached to them easily, smile of a baby is precious i tell you, precious.

i really dont want to be in any of the parent shoes, i dont think i can bare losing my child if i were to have one someday, and if i do have some kids, i know ill love them as much as i can love, ill give everything i have to bring them up to be such decent grownups. i will cherish my love to them until i cant love no more, i dont mind if my husband to be cant put up with me, i wont care, as long as i have my kids, shiish, emotional much. i think im gonna damage my keyboard soon if i dont stop crying.

aahh, well. i wish the parents all the luck. and i pray to god, please, let me go first before my loved ones. i cant bare to lose anymore people that i love, i experience too much losses these few years, and i miss them every single day. i just realised that i miss them so much, what an ungrateful girl am i that i dont think of them everyday and doesnt sedekah fatihah to them everyday. i miss my grandpas, especially.

i remember taking care of my grandpa for one whole month that i had to take an early holiday, sleeping at the hospital, feeding him, baring it all when he gets all pissed off. the day he passed away was the day i know everything wont be the same. it was the first day of school. the moment i saw my sister with her tudong picking me up, i knew it was grandpa, i cant bear to face it, i broke down, i cried, i cried all the way to the hospital.

upon arrival at the hospital, there were no more iv attached on grand's hands, that was a bad sign, i knew it. i remembered when he used to bite my hand and tells me that ada jam. that was a joke to us, and i used to want it everytime i come to see him. i remembered sitting on his laps when he did this. he gets mad most of the time, well thats cause he's the greatest grandpa. the moment my mum said "bahh nana," i can see it clearly now, its as if it happened just yesterday, it was hard letting go. i walked slowly to his bed, whispered alfatihah and alikhlas to his ear, i dont really know what to bacakan, and , kiss him for the last time, i paused for so long beside him, i remembered mum or was it my uncle yang asked me to let my little sister go next, i had to let him go.

taking care of him was a bittersweet moments, i got the chance to learn a few words in Belait, and remembered him nodding saying that i was right, giila kalii i miss my grandpa. im missing him too much. i think ill continue this post another time, my eyes wont buka anymore, and i cant breathe well pasal tesumbat hidung due to all this crying :/

Al-Fatihah,

i reminisce tonight (:

2009-06-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

i have a plan,

well no, WE have a plan to be exact,

some will hate me for this,

but lots will be happier,

that matters more,

happiness.

so, bitch.

Get ready to get off our perfect portrait.

sincerely, Syazana.

WIDE SMILE :D

2009-06-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

should i update? should i? should i? HAHA. im too happy to update, so maybe next time!! :D

A Legend.

2009-06-26T07:18:00.000-07:00

25th June, 2009. We lost another legendary pop king, here in this world. i dont really listen to his songs, but yes, once i listen to his song, any of his songs, its amazaingly catchy and im sure it will stuck in my head the whole day. His songs has touched so many soul existing in this world.

the song "heal the world" the first time i listened to this song was when i was in the physics lab, teacher Amani made us listen to it, cause she want our class to perform it during assembly, the moment i listened to the lyrics, it actually made me shed tears, thats how amazing MJ was, and still is.

That song brought me and my circle together, and we are still together now, may god bless your soul MJ, may you rest in peace.

my back hurts :/

2009-06-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

back aches please go away,

and kaki as well :/

Every girl's dream.

2009-06-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

Make your Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com

Misunderstanding.

2009-06-25T06:10:00.000-07:00

a friend, called. saying that he wanted to talk. saying that it was important, and so i cancelled with Raqib, about picking me up from training, and i let this friend, picked me up. i feel bad about not telling raqiib, so i asked to borrow my friend's phone, but then, ya nada credit. and so me and this friend, cruise around brunei, like mad. while me, listening to this IMPORTANT thing that he had to tell me, and made me cancel Raqiib.

this is the important thing that he told me, he knocked up a girl, he actually cried, and i held the steering wheel most of the time, from the passenger seat, yes. unbelievable. he was seriously crying like a baby. doenst wanna be with that girl. i was really uneasy, listening to what he had to say, and at the same time i feel uneasy cause i didnt tell raqiib.

i wish goodluck to him, this friend.i told him i cant help him, cause he has to take the responsibilities on his own, i can only be a friend. what we had was past, and i dont plan to go back to past life. im happy now, happy around my circle. my friends, my loved ones. and so he sent me back home, after spending approximately 1 hour plus in the car.

which, when i got home, i have to spot something that hurt me so much,

well, i bare with it, and took it, accept it, as i am.

post edited due to direct way of telling a serious thing, which may affect certain parties.

People in love.

2009-06-25T00:53:00.000-07:00

i adore people in love, adore them so much. i have so many couples who are in love all around me, to take for an example these two adorable clowns. hahaha. there's never a day passed i didnt laugh so hard if i see them, they just know the exact way to make people around them feel better. they both are obviously in love, i just love the way they act as a couple, especially when i see Waj tying Maza's bootlaces for her, soo cute, even when Maza complains about it being too tight, Waj will still smile, and doesnt complain, but joke about it. (:

adorable i tell you, haha.

im off for training, *hugs hugs*

behind this smile.

2009-06-24T05:40:00.000-07:00

i am the kind of person who always manage to put a smile on my face and pretend like nothing is bothering when something really does, ive been doing this since i was born, at least since i really know how to compare between all the rights and wrongs in life, but somehow, sometimes, people just dont get it, they dont know how it goes and tend to not realise when they're hurting someone. it will always be "naah, she'll get over it" well guess what? its not ok all the time, consider please. just once.

i am not talking about any particular someone around here, im just raising my opinion, through experience. it sucks so much when all you wanted to do was make that particular person or group of people feel good, or better. but in the end, all you get is SHIT. A seriously HUMONGOUS SHIT. oh well, thats life right? even how nice and how much good deed you pull off, you'll always get shit in return. i sometimes think that i should stop being nice to people, that i should stop treating so nice, since its all shit i will get at last.

but no, cause ill be just the same like THEM, people who never think before saying anything. and even if i decide to do the same thing, it wont be fair to people who gives the exact opposite of SHIT to me. ahhh, well, i cant change people, they themselves are the only people who are able to do that, i cant blame them for being so shitty. its their fate.

im going back to GG now,

this post has got nothing to do with anyone, either they're not in this world or still settling on. no offense. its a free country, i have rights to all my saying. BAHAAA!

2009-06-24T03:37:00.000-07:00

i am officially missing this one girl, whom i love so much whom i love to spend time talking and sharing stuffs with, itsss you!! yeesss you!!

NABEELAH KHALID

sorry i took this without asking, (:

its from your facebook, haha. just feel like making my blog colourful,

yatah i took this instead if the other one that i adore,

besides, green's my favourite colour :D

unbelievable? believe it. im missing you so much girl, i have lots of things to share with you, more than lots actually. we have to go online until late and go skyping together again. i dont care and i dont mind about others, i miss you a lot!

teheee :D i love you babe.

and i owe you an apology.

lets talk (",)

something.

2009-06-23T11:17:00.000-07:00

to hide something and to lie about something to someone you love is sometimes even much more better than telling them and letting them know, which will eventually hurt them.

lies can be no harm, sometimes. Just sometimes. (:

someone you love and adore.

2009-06-23T11:13:00.001-07:00

to spend time with someone you love and adore, even if its only for a short while, feels like, heaven. hehe, exaggerating much. no, really. it feels like you can definitely treasure that feeling your whole life. especially when you spend time talking about nothing that make sense and laugh without even knowing what you are laughing at, to be in love, is AWE'TH'OME! for a normal language, awesome!

2009-06-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

finally, i went in, i went throught it, i explore through it, going back to their past life, what they had was special. i should never interfere, am i making a mistake here? this is stupid, this sucks.

he's too much in love with her, im ruining his feeling towards her.

i shouldnt be, i suck, im a ruiner, BIG TIME TERRIBLE LIFE RUINER, feelings especially. you suck syaz, he should think back what they used to have, and beg her back to his side, to be beside him, they will have something special, since they've known each other for a long time anyways.

i regret, i shouldnt, frrruuccck. now i cant sleep, my eyes, its been so long since i felt like this, unable to shut these eyes, HEY! SHUT IT ALREADY. im talking to myself, which is something that doesnt happen jua, unless i... noo, im not. it cant be, oh please dont.

kill me already, stab me in the back, shoot me, bury me alive. please do!

just another plot of a story i have in mind. (:

Jealousy.

2009-06-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

What if I took my time to love you?

What if I put no one above you?

What if I did the things

That really mattered?

What if I ran through

Hoops of disaster?

No one would care if

We never made it

We're in this alone

So why don't we face it

There is no room to

Blame one another

We just need time to

Forgive each other

[Chorus:]

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby...what about us?

How can I give this

Love a new beginning?

How can I stop the rain?

It's never ending

How do I keep my soul believing?

Memories of how we

Should be keep calling

[Chorus]

I'll take the rivers rise

I'll take the happy times

I'll take the moments of disaster

[Chorus]

the one i can rely on.

2009-06-22T07:50:00.000-07:00

nothing much happened today, i was woken up by my sister pasal she wants me to company her kemas store (: which i did, and it was a relief to see the store for not being that messy anymore. and thanks to our hard work :D well kami breakfast dulu and cook lunch before starting the heavy work, which was tirinnnnnggggg, we finished around 4 plus? or 5, i think. then i went to watch dvd with my sisters. which i fell asleep on, haha. and woke up around 8 plus,

realising i was sooooo hungrrryyyyyy and there was nothing to eat, then i went online and talk to Bahzi and Raqiib, i complained to Raqib about how hungry i was, and being a sweetheart, he went to buy for me, this nasi katok that i adore from lambak, imagine that, he lives in sg tilong went to lambak and send the nasi to me in mentirii, just to fulfill my appettite, *hugs you qiib. but at the same time, my sister order mr.pizza, so im more than full now. HAHA.

gosh, my head is spinning around like crazyy, and my back hurts, my neck as well. and not to forget my kneee, my kakii, ngiluuu ani wahh. im having hard times everytime turun tangga, like seriouslyy. i guess its a permanent damage after all :( and nowwww im talking to Raqiib, my all time bestt buddy whom i love so very much. heeee. ya kan sleep dimosque lagii, boring tah me nii, kejap lagi kali ya jalann. we're sharing songs now, more like me giving him my songs for him to listen to. hehe.

well, thats all for tonight, ill update more tomorrow! if im not tired,

goodnight,, <3

an update,

2009-06-21T06:49:00.000-07:00

its time for an update. i havent been updating you people about what has been going on and stuffs. well im lazy, and im getting lazier every single day, my kaki sakit, my knee especially, i can barely run like before. every training i have to force myself to run. its hurting too much, i need physiotherapy. that wave thingy whatever that max and kama told me i need.

other than my kaki's case, Raqib has been helping me a lot, (: he picked me up from training and for training, (: thanks Raqiib, you mean so much to me. i dont know how the hell im gonna go to training and balik training without you. and i always talk to you online lately, but you have this thing that you have to go sleep arah mosque for 3 days, im bored, without you. you were suppose to be back by now, but i cant see you online, you're prolly sleeping on your cosy bed, since you told me you had to sleep on the floor masa di mosque, i dont blame you,, i myself will complain much if i have to sleep on the floor. I MISS YOU (:

whats the other thing that i need to update? oh yes, i went out with this friend of mine (: whom, ive been missing for the past 5 months, we finally had some times catching up with each other's life. i miss you, buddy. i wish to see you again. sometime soon (: things has been hard for the both of us, but i promise you we both can make it through. As long as we're beside each other. FRIENDS <3

and and, yes, ive been saying that im missing people. awuu banarrr i miss lots of people, especially this one person, who i talk to when im down and all, and she barely go online nowadays, i think she's keeping herself busy kalii. HEY YOU, if you're reading, i miss you. i miss skyping with you.. i dont have credit to text you, so, text me on msn!!

i think thats that for tonight, ill try to update as always as possible, nyaaha. (: Raqib's home! ima go talk to him now.

COMMITMENT.

2009-05-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

commitment = an agreement or pledge to do something in the future,

this is one definition i found online, yes, commitment is like a promise, i think im ready to pledge on commitment, well i know that im far more than ready, too young too commit? nope, never too young to commit, ive started thinking about commitment, two years ago, when i met this guy and when i thought everything was perfect, but then i was wrong when he started to treat me like ****.

i dont think i ever been afraid to commit, i take commitment as a challenge and as one of the test on life, what is life without tests? why are people afraid to commit? i never understand this fact, and as much as i want to understand, i will never do. rushing? nope, not at all, i dont understand why most people take relationship as something that they think its part of things that they do for fun in life. that is totally wrong, especially when you get someone to really fall for you. if you dont want to commit, make it clear at the first place, dont say the word LOVE.

to be in a relationship is wonderful, really. to have someone to talk to everyday, and getting to know new facts about each other every day is great, awesome. to have someone that understands you and to have an opposite gender to talk about and share everything with. these things you can do with your bestfriends? of course you can, but in a relationship, its something, there's this more than love feeling. i dont know how to describe love, much really. but you guys know what i mean.

my age is too youung to commit? noo, not at all, i take for example, my sister and her fiance-to-be, they've been in a relationship for 9 years, and are getting engaged next sunday, 31st May, 2009. and getting married end of this year, on the day of their anniversarry, they've been together since their teenage years, if im not mistaken my sister was 17 at that time, see. this shows that age is not a matter if you want to commit.

i want to be in a relationship, i want to commit, i wanna make that particular person that can love me feel special, feels like its worth it to live in this world and feel loved. i know i wont hurt him, i know i will make him feel special, treat him as nice as a person can be treated and cherish his life as much as i can. life is short, people. lets say, you only have time to live until the next day, when will you have the chance to experience all these? life is all about trying things, give it a try and give your all into it. commitment is healthy, commitment is wonderful.

live your life like its your last day.

Syazana.

2009-05-12T05:19:00.000-07:00

my favourite and chubbiest yet has the most amazing voice ever, and plays the guitar like a rockstar cousin, haha. enjoy watching him, doing his thang!

and he made me listened to this song over and over agaain.

Syazana,

mistake.

2009-05-05T09:02:00.000-07:00

people make mistake. i make mistake.

was it a mistake telling you how im feeling,

cause this is hard, i shouldve just avoid telling you,

i shouldve just listen to what my heart told me,

but i was too much in love to listen,

and now, im in love with you,

i fell, i fell deep, hold on,

im falling is the right phrase,

im falling deep, baby i love you,

this is hard, not being in a relationship with you is hard,

its just not enough, i know you said you love me, and all,

its just not enough.

ive been lying to myself,

ive been lying to you,

saying that its ok to not be in a relationship,

to just have you as my bestfriend,

well, its not ok. it will never be,

cause i want you more than this.

tonight, crying alone for hours taught me something,

in some parts of life,

you just ought to be alone,

to be just by yourself.

just another poem of mine,

love B.

Dear Wish Fairy.

2009-05-04T02:32:00.001-07:00

dear wish fairy, please hear me,

i've been longing to fly.

i never really wish this as strong before,

but wish fairy dear, i need to fly now,

as my love is in need of me.

in need of my touch,

in need of my hugs,

please wish fairy, please,

spare me some of those flying dust of yours,

and let me spread these wings,

then teach me to fly.

as my love is in need of me,

i want to be there for my love,

to cherish my love, and stop my love from being so blue,

please wish fairy, please,

my wish is to fly.

Love B.

this is what my heart tells me.

2009-05-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

to just take things easy,

this feeling will never change as this is what im taking,

this feeling will still grow as how it grows every single day,

this feeling wont fade even if you decide to walk out from me.

having to see you everyday will be a miracle,

having to hug you every time i want to will be wonderful,

having to have you love me more than i do will be great,

having to have you thinking about me and care for me, will surely be amazing.

cause you're the most amazing person ive ever met,

with all these divine behaviours that i adore,

with this pleasant way of calming me down with your words,

with that pleasing smile you have.

and this is cause i love you,

and i love you more,

and i love you farther,

and i love you deeper,

each and every day.

truly Syazana,

especially for you.

Message from my heart.

2009-04-30T05:00:00.000-07:00

Lovey dovey, cheesy, cranky, hearty, whatever you wanna call it, thats me. i tend to pour every bits of my feelings, to anyone. but mostly to them girls, and to the person i love, and adore. and here's a poem i made, NYAHAHAHAHA! well i was in Geo class, and we were told to finish this one tasksheet, which i finished early in the morning right before registration, and so i was jobless, this came out of it (;

picking up the phone, listening to you sobbing,

my hearts drops as i was feeling this,

the strong connection i have felt before,

the difference now its pressing, deep inside its immersing,

for so long, wanting it so bad, its feels so real this bliss,

but no, my mind says, no more, no more, no more.

wanting to avoid this, i tried real hard,

i cant bare to be hurt again, no please,

and so you convince me by telling me this,

you cant leave it being disregard no baby please,

its chemistry we're feeling, im convinced,

cause im feeling this too, this love breeze,

the best thing we ought to do now, is,

take things slow so forever we'll be,

this cherriness, happiness, lightheartedness,

and so with you i fly, through the wind wiz,

with nothing coming between us, we're like bumble bee,

soaring, trying to live this life, with all these crazy tests.

oh please pamper me with your love,

take the train ride with me to love town,

shower me with precious things, even dove,

no dont, ever please let me down.

i wont cheat on you, i wont leave you, please do the same too,

stay with me, along these straight paths or even bends,

i will too, as long as i live, cause i love you,

all in all, comes to conclusion, cause we are bestfriends!

haha, suckyy? haha.

sampai sini saja, i need my rest,

i love B.

Taking things slow.

2009-04-29T04:51:00.000-07:00

FLU FLU FLU! haha, i think im going to be sick, this is cause my throat is killing me, to cough and it pops everytime, is embarassing enough. what more to keep on sniffing your mucus in at the same time? to avoid it from flowing outta your nose, which will also be more embarassing. i hate being sick, i LOATH it. its affecting my training, and also my schooldays. ive been so tired these past few days, ive been feeling sleepy every class, wait, except for GP! i loooove GP!

ive been drinking MR. BROWN, every morning, but the effect stayed only until lunch time, by the time class after lunch starts, ill be yawning my toncils out. haha. all in all, im still having fun in campus, with great friends around made one of the reason that im energetic enough to wake up every morning, just to see them. my every morning is lighten up and brighten up starting from 5 ish at dawn, by MUHAMMAD BAHZI BIN AWANG, RAIHAN RAHMAN, DUA, HISHAM, AMIR, EMAM JOHARI, YAZID TAIB, then the latecomers, YAZID ZAINAL, RAFIE ZAINAL, QISTINA HASSANAN, ZAWANI ZUFERY, LIYANI HUSAIN. and credits also goes to these people, SYAHID, AMIRUL AFIF, BOVIE, ANAQI, RAHIM, SAIFUL AMIN, AZRI AR, NORHADI SUPHIEN, and to people whose names i didnt mention but i smile to you guys everytime i see kamu, means you're part of my everyday life as well. its just that im tired to be able to remember now. but i promise, i will remember and post your names. teheee.

bah! sampai sini dulu ya, im listening to AJ RAFAEL now,

B, i love.

FIRST MATCH!

2009-04-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

KNIGHTS

RUGBY TEAMS,

boys and girls will be competing today against some teams.

the match will be in Mumong Sports Complex.

so people! wish us all the best of lucks!

and its my first match ever! AAAA! hahaha.

loves B.

IM AWARE.

2009-04-24T05:21:00.000-07:00

training was great at first until came to the moment where someone actually criticise me, in a harsh way. maybe im exaggerating, cause im not used to being told of my weaknesses that way, IM AWARE THAT IM SLOW. i am fat, and i aint got that whole lot of stamina. i just started this sport for god sake, and sports before this doesnt require me to run that much. YES I AM VERY SLOW. I DONT RUN THAT MUCH.

but, heyy, you can at least say it in a polite way, i dont mind you criticising, but yoo, nicelyy lahh. it really hurt me tadi, banartah. i feel like stopping right away. yes, I AM THAT SENSITIVE. and so that officially tells you that i have lots of weaknesses.

shish, ive never been that rude to you. chill wah, was just a game. YOU SAID SORRY, well im not sure about which you were apologising about, the part you CRITICISE ME IN A RUDE WAY, or the part you hit my head. atuu i understand, those things happen in rugby and i wont even mind if you didnt say sorry, but for the other thing? we're on the same team for god sake.

try sayingg,

"Syaz, lari laju sikit ahh, you're a bit sloww."

instead of,

"YOU'RE SLOW!" (WITH FACE)

bah whateverrrrr. im doing this cause of sakit hati. i dont wanna mention names, (: im nice enough. but im over it now. malas to think of it lagi, wont lose or gain anything, sampai sini, im friggin' tired and i have essay to do. I OWE MR FRANK FORD!

ADIOS AMIGAS!

i love B.

who ever thought, (:

2009-04-22T02:33:00.000-07:00

Who ever thought that our lips would ever touch

Who ever believed that our souls would ever see one another

Who ever thought that I would see the day

Who ever thought that this day would come

After your hand touched mine on the bench,

Who ever thought we'd get to this point

After you said you're missing me so

and that you'll never let go

Who ever thought that you'd stay?

Who ever thought that I'd see the day

Where my whole life would brighten up

Seeing you to stay here, sleeping next to me

Wishing now the moment will never fade,

oh please, cause you are my love.

the problem with missing you,

2009-04-22T02:19:00.000-07:00

i promised someone that ill change for the better, well in this case is to be less clingy, today for start, i can only text when i really need to, but early morning, and before sleeping is a must, giiillaaaaaaaaa! this is so close to impossible, but i know im strong, and you're the reason i am here now, hee. instead of texting, i decided to just pour everything, here on this page. i frrrigggggiinnllyyyyy miss you!!!

i just got home, giila, the weather is killing me! it was very hot, thank god i have AC in my room, gosh i cant imagine how my life would, how life of others with no AC atuu, especially having to live here in Brunei, HOT ALL YEAR AROUNDD. im not making sense here,, but i just feel like typing and keep pouring, hahaha. pasalnyaa, im trying to get over my clinginess anii, that is if such word exist.

ill update lagi later lah, when im in a lovey dovey mood, my posts will be more siok to dibaca, hee.

layyyy' ahh!

i love you, B <3

honestly,

2009-04-21T06:49:00.000-07:00

ive been hoping, i know i was warned about hoping. but yes, i cant lie to myself, i keep on hoping everyday for that day to come, what we have now, is still not enough for me. i know that we need more time to get to know each other and all, but whats so wrong about being together? i promise i wont do whatever your last relationship did to you,

waittt, this is wrong, i have to stay strong and keep up with you, ill stay and wait, cause i want this for a very very long time. i wont let it slip away, so yes, bestfriend wouldnt kill me. as long as i know you love me,

truly,

syazana.

with nothing but your tshirt on (:

2009-04-21T06:18:00.001-07:00

had some time with this rugby shirt (: maniss!! scentnya pun maniss! hahaha. i lovee you, B <3

The field without you,

2009-04-16T04:44:00.000-07:00

Had an intense training today with the team, our tournament is coming, so im enjoying every bits of the last days of training, i cant wait for the tournament, we might be sleeping over KB on saturday night so we wont feel tired going all the way from Bandar the next day.

You werent on the field today. I miss the moment where i said to myself "get in the game Syaz! stop looking!" haha. yeahh, i know its not a good thing, but i enjoy staring at you. You're my muse. Without you, training would suck. To me that is. i miss you, i really do. i miss your laughter. i miss everything about you. knowing that you wouldnt be coming, suck big time. HAHA. but trainign was actually awesome tadii. for the first time ever, im not feeling tired after training. i enjoyed the game. i communicate a lot with my team mates. rugged lah kami. (:

until here lah sazaa, cause i havent even taken my shower yet ah. bauu.. honestly, i stink! haha.

sincerely,

i love you, my muse,

B <3

*cuddles.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY!!!!!!

2009-04-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

here's a birthday greeting that ive never done beforee :D im singing! hahaha. dont complain if i suck! cause this is very, very sincere. Happy birthday to Muhd. Bahzi bin Awang (l) and also to Syazwi Syahif.

Waiting, will always be waiting.

2009-04-15T03:30:00.000-07:00

some say, "go now, what more do you wait for?" some say, "dont wait, go on, he'll pass if you dont catch up," some even say, "gooo!! dont ever waitt" this sentence means only one thing. To not wait for good things that comes along, take all the chances you've got. cause that chance may pass if you dont make a move.

but who cares? i decided to wait at this situation, having to have you, who wouldnt want to wait? a wonderful person like you who never fails to make me laugh and even cry for something joyful. the more i wait, the closer it gets, the closer you get, the closer the special day will get. so many temptations, so many obstruction, so many stupid thoughts almost made me breakdown, and give up. but having the thought of the good times ill have if i wait for it, and be with you made me more robust.

you, gave me this feeling, this strong feeling and even this strength for me to stand up for something i really want. as long as you promise to be here and wait for me ill sure be here and wait for you.

i love you, B.

enough said.

hugs.

Air Supply - Goodbye

2009-04-13T22:05:00.000-07:00

I can see the pain living in your eyes

And I know how hard you try

You deserve to have much more

I can feel your heart and I simpathize

And I'll never criticize

All you've ever meant to my life

I don't want to let you down

I don't want to lead you on

i don't want to hold you back

From where you might belong

You would never ask me why

My heart is so disguised

I just can't live a lie anymore

I would rather hurt myself

Than to ever make you cry

There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You deserve the chance at the kind of love

I'm not sure i'm worthy of

Losing you is painful to me

I don't want to let you down

I don't want to lead you on

i don't want to hold you back

From where you might belong

You would never ask me why

My heart is so disguised

I just can't live a lie anymore

I would rather hurt myself

Than to ever make you cry

There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You would never ask me why

My heart is so disguised

I just can't live a lie anymore

I would rather hurt myself

Than to ever make you cry

There's nothing left to try

Though it's gonna hurt us both

There's no other way than to say goodbye

Cinta kamu, selamanya.

Kamu terlalu sempurna buat ku.

Syazana Seruji.

B <3

once upon a love mood.

2009-04-13T21:43:00.000-07:00

Im in a very lovey dovey mood lately. Serenity moment im having never will stop. Especially when i have a person like you to brighten up my everyday life. falling in love is not something that we can avoid. yes, ivebeen hurt so many times, but i never seem to get sick of it. well i do, but then after a few weeks, there will always be the right person that i fall for. in this very case, its you. yes, you. you know who you are. this feeling, im having is a rare one. i know ive been saying this, but yes, its totally different, cause you are different, in this position i have never been in. im taking the risk to stay loving you than leave. Good choice, yes? greatt. you promise to be beside me, whenever whatever happens. and yes, cintaa, i will too.

Ive only known you for about a month plus now? but it seems like i know you very well. Everytime im in front of the pc and go online, you're the first one i look for, and you're there most of the time (: cause yes, you have been holding to your promises, for now. Tears and laughter we share cause we were in a difficult position. but we are fine now. we're fine beside each other, blessed to have each other. im happy, very happy for now, of what we have. i dont want this to slip off my life. After what we have been talking about last night, convinced me that it will eventually happen. I wish very much for this. All we have to do is wait, love.

We just have to have the guts, the patience and the love to keep this holding on and try the next step. Step by step is the key. Dont hesitate. im still talking about you. The first thing i think about every morning is you, and the last thing on my mind every night before i go to sleep is surely you. i saw the moon this morning, its shining brightly than ever, was it just my imagination? or is that you shining down on me? i love you. you never fail to make me smile. these great things i know about you and what has been going on between us now is enough, but i want more. i want things to work out the best way possible, or even better. i want to know more about you.

I want you to love me, i want you to be mine, i want you to be part of my life to my very last breathe. FOREVER is so impossible and hard. so i want you to face no complications, AS LONG AS YOU CAN, should be enough. I love you, precious, i really do. (:

here's the update (;

much love <3

sincerely,

Syazana Seruji.

I love you, B.

Javier - If i never get to heaven.

2009-04-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

verse 1:

What does your love mean to me

its something i can't answer easily

just like the air that i breathe

you fill me up inside, you give me all that i need

like a bird flying high on a summers day

you're the wind that carries me away

to a place where you and i will always stay forever

chorus:

if i never get to heaven then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that I could call my very own

and if this world should end tomorrow,girl this much i know is true

i found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

verse 2:

longer than poets will rhyme

girl my love will burn for you until the end of time

if i should die before tomorrow comes

i wont regret a single day, because i had your love

must be somethin in the way you say my name

it takes away my worries and my pain

girl i know we'llmake it through the rain together

chorus:

if i never get to heaven then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that i could call my very own

and if this world should end tomorrow girl this much i know is true

i found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

bridge:

like a river flows and a flower grows, my love for you will never fade

like the sun will rise in the morning sky

you know that i am here to stay forever

(instrumental interlude)

chorus:

if i never get to heaven then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that i could call my very own

and if the world should end tomorrow

girl this much i know is true

i have found my piece of heaven the day that i found you

like a river flows and a flower grows, my love for you will never fade

like the sun will rise in the morning sky you know i am here to stay

for you, <3>

9th and 10th of April.

2009-04-10T04:59:00.000-07:00

Love, i know what im feeling now is love. i know its too soon for me to feel this. after what happened to me just last month. but yes, i myself find it hard to believe that i actually have this feeling, im not saying that its not a good thing. its a wonderful thing knowing that im still able to feel this way after what happened. but its just that, sometimes i think this feeling is wrong. AFRAID. TERRIFIED. SCARED. are the words to describe my feeling towards this feeling im having.

will you able to make me happy? well, there's no hesitation about this. cause you do, you make me smile all the time. reading your texts, all those sweet lines that came out from you, is so amazing. YOU ARE AMAZING. i dont want anything else now but to believe that you can make me much more happy. but, cinta. the problem here is, will you? will you not leave me like my last ex did? i told people that im done with this lovey dovey thingy. but yet, i still manage to accept this feeling. i dont wanna deny cause i know it would just hurt me.

you know what cinta? here's the confession, i love you, i love you so much. im missing you right now. cause you're not texting me. i miss you right now cause i wanna see you. i miss you right now, cause what i hope to happen didnt happen yesterday. i love you so much, its brilliant. to have you as my love, will be the best thing that will ever happen to me now. i know promise is such a strong word, and i might hurt you if i dont hold on to it.

but, i still want to promise, cause i believe that i will love you more than i can love anything that exist in this world. confident? i am, very. this is cause, having to be in relationships that sucks made me realise, how bad it is, how terrible it is to be hurt. i dont want anyone to ever feel the feeling 'hurt' ever again. i dont have the power to do that, but yeah, i can at least decrease it by a single number. i love you. really, to have you be mine, i promise that ill make you the happiest person alive, whatever that comes our way i will kill. :D i am that strong. haha. ill forgive and forget on whatever mistakes you will do.

its gonna be the best times of your life, i promise. and i swear.

and here's a song for you.

I can't take any longer baby I mean I can't wait any longer
Mhm I gotta have you I gotta know how it is to touch you
To hold you to feel you our lives have touched our minds have touched
And I can't wait any longer for our boddies to touch our souls to touch
I can't wait any longer this feelin's gettin' stronger
Satisfy my hunger you're the only one who can
Where do I have to go what do I have to do
Who do I have to lie to so I can lie with you I can't wait any longer
[ strings ]
Patience has never been one of my virtues baby when I want something I want it now
And I want you now I wanna kiss you now I wanna love you now
I can't wait any longer...
(I can't wait I can't wait doo doo doo) baby I can't wait any longer

I want you now hmm now yeah (I can't wait I can't wait...)

truly;

Syazana Seruji.

INACTIVE.

2009-03-10T01:19:00.000-07:00

i think im gonna be inactive for a while, things has been so hectic this past few days, i have only assignments for my entertainment and i barely watch tv, for short, i think im gonna have no life starting from, first day of school. Tonnes of assignments and reports to be hand in everyday, not complaining. But i wish one day has more than 24 hours. So i can get my assignment done on time without feeling sleepy the next day. Ive started drinking coffee too, 'Nescafe' to be exact. I dont think it really helps, should i start drinking black coffee instead? :S will it work? Well god knows what else im gonna try to stay awake. LOL.

I havent start talking about the college im attending now, right? Well. I go to Berakas Sixth Form Centre (PTEB) it is a wonderful and very pretty school. It is located in Lambak Kiri, and soon we will be moving to Meragang, where as my GP sir said, “we’re gonna move to Malaysia,” he’s british and he said thatc ause everytime he goes there he will be getting this text message saying welcome to Malaysia. Haha. It’s from Celcom.

Subjects im taking, i know i told you guys about this before, but just to recall back, im taking, English literature, Psychology, Geography and G.P as my compulsory subject. My aim from here, might be Proffesor in English Literature, i know i said i dont wanna teach. But yeah, maybe law. Or i might want to do something that has to do with neuro. Conducting my own study about something new. I hope im making the right choice, but i can still change my course in University later.

The teacherss, my English Literature’s tutor name is Mr. Boyce. English, if im not mistaken, my G.P sir as well, English. Mr. Ford. My geography teacher is Cikgu Pengiran Zam Zam. And Psychology is Teacher Salina, so far i have no problems with the teachers, i love the way they teach and i still look forward to come to their class every single day. I hope its not going to change *winks.

Life outside college :D i think i wanna start making nasi again, just to make side profit. So i can buy someone his birthday present ;p (Yes, im talking about you!) the present that im aiming for is quite expensive, but yeah. Ill try. Never bought something this expensive with my own money, but it’s worth it! :D i know it will.

Ehhh... we have cross country this 19^th and also i wanna try for rugby tryout. I GOTTA KEEP MYSELF FIT!!! Im gonna start running and doing more sit ups, control my eating and all. Bahh, i think thats all for now. I have so many things to be done by today! Yess... ASSSIGNMENTSS! And MOVIE REPORT!! (v for vendetta yooo)

Things to do;

SIT UPS.
WATCH V FOR VENDETTA
DO REPORTS ON V FOR VENDETTA
GEOGRAPHY ASSIGNMENTS
PSYCHOLOGY ASSIGNMENTS
G.P ASSIGNMENTS
ELIT!!!! (find Jane Eyre's book)

2009-02-27T05:38:00.000-08:00

here are some of the videos that i spent tome crying on. lol. its worth the tears.

CINTA ARJUNA.

2009-02-27T05:33:00.000-08:00

is the title correct? there's this malaysian song yang arjuna arjuna ahh, last few days i found the korean version of the song which i cried so muchhh., korean kah chinese nee. im not suree. so here enjoy.

GUITAR AND ME.

2009-02-26T10:58:00.000-08:00

and so i had some moments with my guitar this evening, and this is what it turns out to be.

MAKING TOTAL FOOL OUT OF OURSELVES.

2009-02-22T09:12:00.000-08:00

and so we were jobless, this came out of it :D haha. i look terrible, but i had fun, that, whats count. right? enjoy people..

MY NEW AI FAVOURITE, BABY!

2009-02-18T22:17:00.001-08:00

night at Yanii's

2009-02-15T07:30:00.000-08:00

And so last night i went to yanii's for doa selamat, all 4 of us was supposed to be there, but iina and wani cant make it, iina was gonna go, but she had to leave early, at 8, yatah alang alang, so she didnt come. wanii had this dinner she had to go at Airport restaurant, but Wanii! you missed a lot, the food was way better at yanii's! im sure! espeacially kambing and peach pie! amazinggg!! well Nico and Dean was there to accompany me, THANK GOD! we drank some sparkling wine! white and grape. yatah inda nyamannn, haha. sorry yann. and of course comes with all these are pictures!

One Sunday Afternoon,

2009-02-08T01:59:00.000-08:00

My dad's siblings from Miri came over this afternoon, this is their first time ever coming to our place :D after approximately 11 or 12 years living here (im not so sure, about the period). And we had Ambuyat with binjai and tempoyak as cacah. oh gee.. its been a long time

since we gather around to eat like this. everyone had great

times. especially the babies. they were so excited playing with the kittens. and i just discovered that our kittens can form a football league. they were so hyperactive playing with the paper ball just now, running around like bunch of famous footballers, of course namely Torres, Nani, and especially beckham. lol. bah, enough with the talking, its PICTURES TIME!!

My most favourite pictures of all, how much more cuter can they be?

Oh well, every meeting must there be a farewell, shall i see you guys next time ;p haha, practising my Elit lang. until here,, yah.

A guitar i never thought i would have.

2009-02-07T03:01:00.000-08:00

And soo, i finally own a guitar ;p siap ada signature lagi from Dmadley. this is so mad! hahaha. it was before brown and quite old, but them Adek, Adii and Pojee made it worth having it. they customized it for me and it looks so brand new now. i learned a few chords from adek and adii last time and i kind of revised it this afternoon, i think i can manage learning the chords on my own.. WISH ME LUCK!

NEW PHONE!

2009-02-06T21:09:00.000-08:00

i forgot to mention something! hee, i got myself a new phone. A brand that i have never used before. LG KS 360. but i looooovvveeeeee it!!!!! cause its a horizontal slider phone. so its gorgeous! there are four colours for this phone, i got myself the black and silver one, siap lawa dengan bling bling lagi saya kasii. hehe, i havent taken any pictures of it yet, so ill just post something from the net. its GORGEOUS!

IM BACKKKK!

2009-02-06T20:34:00.000-08:00

oh yes, people. i bet you've been wondering where the heck ive been, right? lol. ive been, busy. well not exactly busy, but i just need time to arrange back my life, back to the right path. :D and so many people are involved. sound so serious? i am. SO NOW! IM BACCKKK! yes, im back. im so gonna post so many videos and so many stories about what ive been doing and what ill be doing. so people, be excited! hehe. oh gosh. i miss typing like this. it really does feel like talking to someone :S eekk! hold! im not crazzyy!

bah let us start with where ill be going for form 6 and what subjects will i be taking, i registered last thursday, morning. along with my mother, she wasnt really excited about it since she had to cancel her classes all morning. at exactly 8 pluss, we went to sharif ali to get the principal to sign my form, right? then off to pte. when i arrived there, i was ready with my three subjects, namely, Biology, Chemistry and of course come with all these is Maths. but then something else happened, the teachers there doesnt think that itll be a right way for me if i take Biology and Chemistry since my grades for the following are just Cs. so they recommend me to take Elit instead, that is for having A1 for my English :D so i decided to go with what they want, TEACHER KNOWS BEST! now i end up taking, Elit, Geography and Psychology! good luck with thatt..