30 April 2009

Lovey dovey, cheesy, cranky, hearty, whatever you wanna call it, thats me. i tend to pour every bits of my feelings, to anyone. but mostly to them girls, and to the person i love, and adore. and here's a poem i made, NYAHAHAHAHA! well i was in Geo class, and we were told to finish this one tasksheet, which i finished early in the morning right before registration, and so i was jobless, this came out of it (;


picking up the phone, listening to you sobbing,
my hearts drops as i was feeling this, 
the strong connection i  have felt before, 
the difference now its pressing, deep inside its immersing,
for so long, wanting it so bad, its feels so real this bliss,
but no, my mind says, no more, no more, no more.

wanting to avoid this, i tried real hard,
i cant bare to be hurt again, no please,
and so you convince me by telling me this,
you cant leave it being disregard no baby please,
its chemistry we're feeling, im convinced,
cause im feeling this too, this love breeze,

the best thing we ought to do now, is,
take things slow so forever we'll be,
this cherriness, happiness, lightheartedness,
and so with you i fly, through the wind wiz,
with nothing coming between us, we're like bumble bee,
soaring, trying to live this life, with all these crazy tests.

oh please pamper me with your love,
take the train ride with me to love town,
shower me with precious things, even dove,
no dont, ever please let me down.

i wont cheat on you, i wont leave you, please do the same too,
stay with me, along these straight paths or even bends,
i will too, as long as i live, cause i love you,
all in all, comes to conclusion, cause we are bestfriends!

haha, suckyy? haha. 
sampai sini saja, i need my rest, 
i love B.




29 April 2009

Taking things slow.

FLU FLU FLU! haha, i think im going to be sick, this is cause my throat is killing me, to cough and it pops everytime, is embarassing enough. what more to keep on sniffing your mucus in at the same time? to avoid it from flowing outta your nose, which will also be more embarassing. i hate being sick, i LOATH it. its affecting my training, and also my schooldays. ive been so tired these past few days, ive been feeling sleepy every class, wait, except for GP! i loooove GP!


ive been drinking MR. BROWN, every morning, but the effect stayed only until lunch time, by the time class after lunch starts, ill be yawning my toncils out. haha. all in all, im still having fun in campus, with great friends around made one of the reason that im energetic enough to wake up every morning, just to see them. my every morning is lighten up and brighten up starting from 5 ish at dawn, by MUHAMMAD BAHZI BIN AWANG, RAIHAN RAHMAN, DUA, HISHAM, AMIR, EMAM JOHARI, YAZID TAIB, then the latecomers, YAZID ZAINAL, RAFIE ZAINAL, QISTINA HASSANAN, ZAWANI ZUFERY, LIYANI HUSAIN. and credits also goes to these people, SYAHID, AMIRUL AFIF, BOVIE, ANAQI, RAHIM, SAIFUL AMIN, AZRI AR, NORHADI SUPHIEN, and to people whose names i didnt mention but i smile to you guys everytime i see kamu, means you're part of my everyday life as well. its just that im tired to be able to remember now. but i promise, i will remember and post your names. teheee.

bah! sampai sini dulu ya, im listening to AJ RAFAEL now, 
B, i love.

25 April 2009

FIRST MATCH!

KNIGHTS 
RUGBY TEAMS, 
boys and girls will be competing today against some teams.
the match will be in Mumong Sports Complex.
so people! wish us all the best of lucks!
and its my first match ever! AAAA! hahaha.
loves B.

24 April 2009

IM AWARE.


training was great at first until came to the moment where someone actually criticise me, in a harsh way. maybe im exaggerating, cause im not used to being told of my weaknesses that way, IM AWARE THAT IM SLOW. i am fat, and i aint got that whole lot of stamina. i just started this sport for god sake, and sports before this doesnt require me to run that much. YES I AM VERY SLOW. I DONT RUN THAT MUCH.


but, heyy, you can at least say it in a polite way, i dont mind you criticising, but yoo, nicelyy lahh. it really hurt me tadi, banartah. i feel like stopping right away. yes, I AM THAT SENSITIVE. and so that officially tells you that i have lots of weaknesses.

 shish, ive never been that rude to you. chill wah, was just a game. YOU SAID SORRY, well im not sure about which you were apologising about, the part you CRITICISE ME IN A RUDE WAY, or the part you hit my head. atuu i understand, those things happen in rugby and i wont even mind if you didnt say sorry, but for the other thing? we're on the same team for god sake.

 try sayingg, 
"Syaz, lari laju sikit ahh, you're a bit sloww." 
instead of, 
"YOU'RE SLOW!" (WITH FACE)

bah whateverrrrr. im doing this cause of sakit hati. i dont wanna mention names, (: im nice enough. but im over it now. malas to think of it lagi, wont lose or gain anything, sampai sini, im friggin' tired and i have essay to do. I OWE MR FRANK FORD! 


ADIOS AMIGAS!
i love B.  

22 April 2009

who ever thought, (:

Who ever thought that our lips would ever touch
Who ever believed that our souls would ever see one another
Who ever thought that I would see the day
Who ever thought that this day would come
After your hand touched mine on the bench,
Who ever thought we'd get to this point
After you said you're missing me so
and that you'll never let go
Who ever thought that you'd stay?
Who ever thought that I'd see the day
Where my whole life would brighten up
Seeing you to stay here, sleeping next to me
Wishing now the moment will never fade, 
oh please, cause you are my love.

i promised someone that ill change for the better, well in this case is to be less clingy, today for start, i can only text when i really need to, but early morning, and before sleeping is a must, giiillaaaaaaaaa! this is so close to impossible, but i know im strong, and you're the reason i am here now, hee. instead of texting, i decided to just pour everything, here on this page. i frrrigggggiinnllyyyyy miss you!!! 


i just got home, giila, the weather is killing me! it was very hot, thank god i have AC in my room, gosh i cant imagine how my life would, how life of others with no AC atuu, especially having to live here in Brunei, HOT ALL YEAR AROUNDD. im not making sense here,, but i just feel like typing and keep pouring, hahaha. pasalnyaa, im trying to get over my clinginess anii, that is if such word exist.

ill update lagi later lah, when im in a lovey dovey mood, my posts will be more siok to dibaca, hee.

layyyy' ahh!
i love you, B <3

21 April 2009

honestly,

ive been hoping, i know i was warned about hoping. but yes, i cant lie to myself, i keep on hoping everyday for that day to come, what we have now, is still not enough for me. i know that we need more time to get to know each other and all, but whats so wrong about being together? i promise i wont do whatever your last relationship did to you,


waittt, this is wrong, i have to stay strong and keep up with you, ill stay and wait, cause i want this for a very very long time. i wont let it slip away, so yes, bestfriend wouldnt kill me. as long as i know you love me, 

truly,
syazana.





had some time with this rugby shirt (: maniss!! scentnya pun maniss! hahaha. i lovee you, B <3
 

16 April 2009

Had an intense training today with the team, our tournament is coming, so im enjoying every bits of the last days of training, i cant wait for the tournament, we might be sleeping over KB on saturday night so we wont feel tired going all the way from Bandar the next day. 

You werent on the field today. I miss the moment where i said to myself "get in the game Syaz! stop looking!" haha. yeahh, i know its not a good thing, but i enjoy staring at you. You're my muse. Without you, training would suck. To me that is. i miss you, i really do. i miss your laughter. i miss everything about you. knowing that you wouldnt be coming, suck big time. HAHA. but trainign  was actually awesome tadii. for the first time ever, im not feeling tired after training. i enjoyed the game. i communicate a lot with my team mates. rugged lah kami. (: 


until here lah sazaa, cause i havent even taken my shower yet ah. bauu.. honestly, i stink! haha. 

sincerely,
i love you, my muse,
B <3
*cuddles.

15 April 2009



here's a birthday greeting that ive never done beforee :D im singing! hahaha. dont complain if i suck! cause this is very, very sincere. Happy birthday to Muhd. Bahzi bin Awang (l) and also to Syazwi Syahif.

some say, "go now, what more do you wait for?" some say, "dont wait, go on, he'll pass if you dont catch up," some even say, "gooo!! dont ever waitt" this sentence means only one thing. To not wait for good things that comes along, take all the chances you've got. cause that chance may pass if you dont make a move. 


but who cares? i decided to wait at this situation, having to have you, who wouldnt want to wait? a wonderful person like you who never fails to make me laugh and even cry for something joyful. the more i wait, the closer it gets, the closer you get, the closer the special day will get. so many temptations, so many obstruction, so many stupid thoughts almost made me breakdown, and give up. but having the thought of the good times ill have if i wait for it, and be with you made me more robust. 

you, gave me this feeling, this strong feeling and even this strength for me to stand up for something i really want. as long as you promise to be here and wait for me ill sure be here and wait for you.

i love you, B.
enough said.
hugs.

13 April 2009

Air Supply - Goodbye

I can see the pain living in your eyes 
And I know how hard you try 
You deserve to have much more 
I can feel your heart and I simpathize 
And I'll never criticize 
All you've ever meant to my life 


I don't want to let you down 
I don't want to lead you on 
i don't want to hold you back 
From where you might belong 


You would never ask me why 
My heart is so disguised 
I just can't live a lie anymore 
I would rather hurt myself 
Than to ever make you cry 
There's nothing left to say but goodbye 


You deserve the chance at the kind of love 
I'm not sure i'm worthy of 
Losing you is painful to me 


I don't want to let you down 
I don't want to lead you on 
i don't want to hold you back 
From where you might belong 


You would never ask me why 
My heart is so disguised 
I just can't live a lie anymore 
I would rather hurt myself 
Than to ever make you cry 
There's nothing left to say but goodbye 


You would never ask me why 
My heart is so disguised 
I just can't live a lie anymore 
I would rather hurt myself 
Than to ever make you cry 
There's nothing left to try 
Though it's gonna hurt us both 
There's no other way than to say goodbye

Cinta kamu, selamanya.
Kamu terlalu sempurna buat ku.
Syazana Seruji.
B <3

Im in a very lovey dovey mood lately. Serenity moment im having never will stop. Especially when i have a person like you to brighten up my everyday life. falling in love is not something that we can avoid. yes, ivebeen hurt so many times, but i never seem to get sick of it. well i do, but then after a few weeks, there will always be the right person that i fall for. in this very case, its you. yes, you. you know who you are. this feeling, im having is a rare one. i know ive been saying this, but yes, its totally different, cause you are different, in this position i have never been in. im taking the risk to stay loving you than leave. Good choice, yes? greatt. you promise to be beside me, whenever whatever happens. and yes, cintaa, i will too. 


Ive only known you for about a month plus now? but it seems like i know you very well. Everytime im in front of the pc and go online, you're the first one i look for, and you're there most of the time (: cause yes, you have been holding to your promises, for now. Tears and laughter we share cause we were in a difficult position. but we are fine now. we're fine beside each other, blessed to have each other. im happy, very happy for now, of what we have. i dont want this to slip off my life. After what we have been talking about last night, convinced me that it will eventually happen. I wish very much for this. All we have to do is wait, love. 

We just have to have the guts, the patience and the love to keep this holding on and try the next step. Step by step is the key. Dont hesitate. im still talking about you. The first thing i think about every morning is you, and the last thing on my mind every night before i go to sleep is surely you. i saw the moon this morning, its shining brightly than ever, was it just my imagination? or is that you shining down on me? i love you. you never fail to make me smile. these great things i know about you and what has been going on between us now is enough, but i want more. i want things to work out the best way possible, or even better. i want to know more about you.

I want you to love me, i want you to be mine, i want you to be part of my life to my very last breathe. FOREVER is so impossible and hard. so i want you to face no complications, AS LONG AS YOU CAN, should be enough. I love you, precious, i really do. (: 

here's the update (;
much love <3
sincerely,
Syazana Seruji.


I love you, B.

11 April 2009

verse 1:

What does your love mean to me

its something i can't answer easily

just like the air that i breathe

you fill me up inside, you give me all that i need

like a bird flying high on a summers day

you're the wind that carries me away

to a place where you and i will always stay forever


chorus:

if i never get to heaven then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that I could call my very own

and if this world should end tomorrow,girl this much i know is true

i found my piece of heaven the day that i found you


verse 2:

longer than poets will rhyme 

girl my love will burn for you until the end of time

if i should die before tomorrow comes

i wont regret a single day, because i had your love

must be somethin in the way you say my name

it takes away my worries and my pain

girl i know we'llmake it through the rain together


chorus:

if i never get to heaven then at least i will have known

i had an angel here on earth that i could call my very own

and if this world should end tomorrow girl this much i know is true

i found my piece of heaven the day that i found you


bridge:

like a river flows and a flower grows, my love for you will never fade

like the sun will rise in the morning sky

you know that i am here to stay forever


(instrumental interlude)


chorus:

if i never get to heaven then at least i will have known 

i had an angel here on earth that i could call my very own

and if the world should end tomorrow

girl this much i know is true

i have found my piece of heaven the day that i found you


like a river flows and a flower grows, my love for you will never fade

like the sun will rise in the morning sky you know i am here to stay


for you, <3>

10 April 2009

Love, i know what im feeling now is love. i know its too soon for me to feel this. after what happened to me just last month. but yes, i myself find it hard to believe that i actually have this feeling, im not saying that its not a good thing. its a wonderful thing knowing that im still able to feel this way after what happened. but its just that, sometimes i think this feeling is wrong. AFRAID. TERRIFIED. SCARED. are the words to describe my feeling towards this feeling im having.

will you able to make me happy? well, there's no hesitation about this. cause you do, you make me smile all the time. reading your texts, all those sweet lines that came out from you, is so amazing. YOU ARE AMAZING. i dont want anything else now but to believe that you can make me much more happy. but, cinta. the problem here is, will you? will you not leave me like my last ex did? i told people that im done with this lovey dovey thingy. but yet, i still manage to accept this feeling. i dont wanna deny cause i know it would just hurt me.


you know what cinta? here's the confession, i love you, i love you so much. im missing you right now. cause you're not texting me. i miss you right now cause i wanna see you. i miss you right now, cause what i hope to happen didnt happen yesterday. i love you so much, its brilliant. to have you as my love, will be the best thing that will ever happen to me now. i know promise is such a strong word, and i might hurt you if i dont hold on to it. 

but, i still want to promise, cause i believe that i will love you more than i can love anything that exist in this world. confident? i am, very. this is cause, having to be in relationships that sucks made me realise, how bad it is, how terrible it is to be hurt. i dont want anyone to ever feel the feeling 'hurt' ever again. i dont have the power to do that, but yeah, i can at least decrease it by a single number. i love you. really, to have you be mine, i promise that ill make you the happiest person alive, whatever that comes our way i will kill. :D i am that strong. haha. ill forgive and forget on whatever mistakes you will do. 

its gonna be the best times of your life, i promise. and i swear.

and here's a song for you.

I can't take any longer baby I mean I can't wait any longer
Mhm I gotta have you I gotta know how it is to touch you
To hold you to feel you our lives have touched our minds have touched
And I can't wait any longer for our boddies to touch our souls to touch
I can't wait any longer this feelin's gettin' stronger
Satisfy my hunger you're the only one who can
Where do I have to go what do I have to do
Who do I have to lie to so I can lie with you I can't wait any longer
[ strings ]
Patience has never been one of my virtues baby when I want something I want it now
And I want you now I wanna kiss you now I wanna love you now
I can't wait any longer...
(I can't wait I can't wait doo doo doo) baby I can't wait any longer
I want you now hmm now yeah (I can't wait I can't wait...) 

truly;
Syazana Seruji.


;;